Oops, it has been a long time since I have updated again. October apparently slipped away from me. Actually, it has been tough since my computer crashed. I can use my phone for emails and stuff, but it's hard to type a lot on there.

We just got back from the ATA, which was a lot of fun! A lot of work, but definitely worth it. I had planned on riding two horses - Paddy, a 4 year old that I have been working with for the past couple of months to get him ready, and Tanzeln, John and Kari Cassel's stallion. I had only begun working with Tanz a few days before the ATA, since I wanted to go and ride, and Beth (his regular rider) did not care to. He is tricky to ride, since he doesn't want to take any contact, but he was really good, and I had a great time with him. Kari likes how I ride him, and we are going to talk to Jean about having me take him on, which would be great since I will get to show him.

I didn't end up getting to ride Paddy at all, which I was really disappointed in. We were showing him in two classes. Erin was going to ride him in one, and I was going to ride him in the next class. However, the classes were so unorganized, that we did not have time to get everyone prepared for the class. I ended up having to get him ready and warm him up while Erin got changed, and since I was not changed for my class, she rode him in both.

We choreographed a 10 stallion quadrille, and only had 2 practices with the whole group before the show on Friday night. I rode Tanz. I also got to present Tanz in the big arena for the stallion parade beforehand. They played "I want to break free" while I rode, which is one of my favorite Queen songs. I was so happy with how the demo went, that I teared up as I exited. Actually, what I felt was that I was the closest to my genuine self that I have ever been. Riding and showing in front of a crowd is what I feel like I am meant to do.

We did not finish until 10 pm that night. I had been staying in the horse trailer with Erin, which was cramped, needless to say. John Cassel mentioned that they had a huge suite that had a separate room with a pull out bed, tv, and bathroom. I asked if I could stay there that night, which I did, and it was awesome! My house does not even have tv! I was too tired to really watch anything, but it was nice to flip through the channels =)

Saturday was the stallion approvals. We had brought Indelible, who is a 4 year old clone of Hailo. We were not sure he was going to be approved, since we are very critical and can see that his hind legs get wide behind when he trots out. However, of the 10 or 11 stallions that were presented, he was the only one to be approved! I guess Jean knows what she is doing after all ;) Afterwards, we packed up and the trailers hauled out. Roy was sick, so Jean had an extra ticket to the banquet that night, and I ended up being able to go. It was a lot of fun! Jean won an award for Stiletto, since he has proven himself in both eventing and dressage, which is hard for any horse to do. Tiffany and Andrew were there with Tiffany's mom. Even though Tiffany had gotten run over by a stallion the night before, she was still in good form on the dance floor. Anna from Montana was there with us, as well as this Andrew guy who ended up hanging out with us all night. He was actually Very Funny, as well as a good dancer, so he was a lot of fun to have around. Of course, my luck, he's gay. Anyway, we all danced and danced at the banquet, met some fun people from Wisconsin, actually, and went to a club afterwards, where I got to ride a mechanical bull. Let me just say, that I kick butt at riding the mechanical bull! I couldn't even believe that I stayed on as long as I did. Even after I had that thought, I stayed on even longer! John and Kari kept the room for me, so I was able to stay there again that night. Awesome!

Work has been going really well, and I have been super happy. Erin's assistant, Kate got here and relieved me of my position. It is really nice to not have to do all that grooming, and just worry about working my horses. I do still help Erin out, but it is on a more limited basis, when I have time. I offer to help Iris a lot as well, which usually ends up being just riding some of her horses, which has been great. I really love being able to ride a lot of different horses every day.

Danny, who used to work at the farm next door moved to Gainesville with his boyfriend. He is still a good friend, however, and I have been spending a lot of my days off with him. We go rock climbing together, which is awesome, because I have always been looking for a climbing partner. His boyfriend, Tim, is really nice, and I have enjoyed getting to know him as well. Danny's replacement at the farm is a Canadian girl named Miranda. We have hung out a few times. She is really nice, and a very good rider. I am looking forward to getting to know her better.

Halloween was a lot of fun. Saturday night Beth, Ryan and I went out in Gainesville. Beth was a vampire, I was a french maid, and Ryan was a 50s gangster. We had sushi, and then went out to the clubs. We ended up going to the UC, which is a gay club, and we danced and danced. They had a costume contest. which was fun. At one point, Ryan took me aside and said that he did not know what was going on with him and Beth, and that he would like to know if she was interested in him, because otherwise he could puruse other interests - like me! After he dropped me off that night, Beth told him that she was not interested in anything with him, and he immediately texted me to see if he could stop over the next day to see me. Needless to say, Beth was very upset when she found that out, and there was a lot of subsequent drama. Even though they are "just friends" now, Ryan has still given Beth his car to use on an unlimited basis until she gets her own car. He put her on the insurance and everything.

Iris's sister, Baerbel, came to clinic with us in October. I got to ride Isabeau with her. It was the most amazing ride I have ever had on that mare. I am trying to scrape some extra money together so that I can visit Baerbel in the spring, and train with her for a month or so. Herwig is coming the end of this month, and I am going to try and ride with him as well.

Erin is leaving next week. I can't believe her 6 month stay is up already. I will miss her a lot, and the farm is not going to be the same. I am going to miss her as a roommate as well. Meghan is coming in December, and will stay with me for 3 months or so. I think it will be good to get to know her a little better.

I am back at the Tobacco cottage. Home, I guess. I am very lucky to have made some really good friends here at Valhalla, people who are willing to catch me when I fall. Erin has decided to hire Kate. I am disappointed and hurt, but I will be working more on my own and will have access to both instructors, so that will be good.

Erin gave me a very bad lesson the other day on Insightful, and left me crying in the saddle, and after my lesson. She basically made me feel completely worthless as a rider, and told me that I was ruining her best horse. At one point, I almost got off. I confronted her after my lesson about how mean she was, and she said that, amoung other things, she had some residual anger about me leaving in the first place. However, she realized that she was completely in the wrong and apologized and apologized every time she saw me for the rest of the day.

I feel like everyone is a little upset with me for leaving, so I am working through that right now. However, I told Jean that I am still glad I did it, because I would have always wondered what would have come from the opportunity if I didn't pursue it. I am really mad at AJ for screwing things up for me, though. He had promised to buy me a horse, a saddle, and take me to shows - all things that I desperately want, but am not willing to sell myself for. Hopefully there will be another way to get there.

So, last Friday night AJ and I went to Bilinda's for dinner. I had a few margaritas and got rather tipsy. Afterwards, we went back to the barn to do night check and stopped to look at the stars and remark on what a nice night it was, and he tried to kiss me! I dodged him, and then he just hugged me and said "That's a good girl." I avoided him the entire next day and called my Mom in the afternoon to tell her what happened. I was sobbing so hard that I could barely get the words out at first, and when I did I was shaking and crying so hard that I knew I had to get out of there.

Fortunately, Erin was coming down that day to stay with us and take me to a show the next day as her scribe. It was good to talk it out with her, and come up with a plan. I knew I was welcome back at the farm and have started to work as her assistant. Unfortunately, she had already begun moving forward with interviewing for a new assistant. The day I got here Kate was trying out. So, I will be here until the first week in October at least. I think Erin will make her decision soon. If she doesn't pick me, then I might be able to work as Iris's assistant. If that doesn't work out, I will probably head to SC with Gilda and Nick for awhile, unless something else comes up. I will be posting my resume and checking out openings shortly.

After talking with Jean and Erin about the opportunity, they offered for me to stay on as Erin's assistant trainer. I would have been riding more, which I would have been happy with, and I initially told AJ that I was going to stay at Valhalla. But, he still wanted me to come down and have a lesson with Bilinda on Forrte, which I did. Bilinda teaches a lot like Erin, which made me very comfortable with her. She took me aside later and told me that she wanted me to come, and also told AJ that she thought I was a very good rider with a lot of feel, but that she also liked the fact that I am coachable. I got to thinking about what a good opportunity I was passing up, and I changed my mind.

I have only been here 2 days now, but I feel like I made the right choice. AJ had to start from scratch here, so everything is new. What a difference to the run down place I am from! Not only is everything new, but AJ also gets the best in quality in everything. The barn has the best of everything, including this bedding that never has to be taken out - all you need to do is pick out the poop. Forrte has been in his stall for 2 weeks now, and it is true to its word. The house is also furnished with top quality furnishings, new beds, etc. The kitchen is going to be redone. For the office he went out and bought the best laptop McIntosh makes, and got me an incredible new phone. All those things are nice, but they are besides the fact that he has one of the best trainers in the country, and has imported some of Holland's best horses. Cinderella, the 3 year old filly, won 4th place out of 100 horses that had been each picked from 100 horses. She is really going to be something. I am very excited for how the future looks for me right now, and I am enjoying every moment!

Yesterday was my birthday. It was actually one of my better birthdays. The day ended with dinner with my friends, and then going out for karaoke. It was a lot of fun, and I like being able to bring people together.

I started out the day by going to visit AJ's new farm in Ocala. I got there the night before, and we went out for dinner and chatted. He wants me to come work for him. I would be his go-to person, and make sure everything gets done, as well as be in on decisions with him. I would also be doing his books, which would be a great use of my degree. The trainer he has working for him is Belinda Nairn, who got to the Olympics twice. She regularly goes to Holland and imports horses for clients. She is importing some for AJ, one in particular that I would get to ride and show. I really love working for Erin, but I think this opportunity is too good to pass up. I talked to Erin about it today, and we started throwing around ideas for ways to work out me staying here, but I don't think it's going to work. And now that I know Erin understands my situation and is supportive, even if a little sad, I am getting excited for the new opportunity again. There is a lot of potential gain, which also means it's risky, but I know that I can always come back here if it doesn't work out. Plus, the qualities in me that have yielded me success this far are still there, and I get to take them with me.

Today marks my one year anniversary here at Valhalla. I have come a long way in my riding, and I am very thankful to Erin to instill in me such good basics. This week we are hosting a clinic with Herwig Radnetter, from the Spanish Riding School (upholder of the classical standards of dressage), and I am fortunate enough to ride with him twice. I rode with him when he came over the winter, and came away feeling very frustrated with my riding. However, I had my first lesson with him the other day on Adeline, a moody mare that I have been riding for this past year, and think I made a better impression on him. I was very pleased with Adeline as well. Other than trying to yank the reins out of my hands a few times, she worked very well.

I got a lot from my lesson with Herwig. First of all, do not squeeze with the legs, this makes the horse tense. Have a little weight in your stirrups and let your leg hang. Ride the horse forward, look up, and feel that you have equal weight in both reins. If the horse is offering you a steady contact and is in a good frame, ride with a quiet hand. If the horse is not round enough you can play with the reins, but once the horse is round, be quiet. From there you can half halt and have it mean something. Also, when aiding the horse to canter, from the trot or the walk, slide your outside leg back, wait for a response from the horse that says "I know you want to canter" and then depart. Herwig says that if the horse understands what you want, then he will do it - which begs the question from me "why do they do it?" Practice collecting the horse and sending it forward without building tension. Play and see how strong the horse is already. When asking for a shoulder-in, just turn your upper body. Use your aids if needed, but play around to see how little you can do. Also, in the canter, if the haunches are coming to the inside, just turn your upper body to align the horse and weight your inside seat bone. I can't wait for my second ride with him, I will be riding John and Karrie's stallion, Tanzlen. I have just started working with him, but so far he has been a lot of fun. I have been riding him while Beth is in Canada.

Erin had an accident today. She was riding Infallible in the outdoor, working him in the walk, when he started bucking and bolted. She was thrown onto his neck and actually rode him that way for awhile while he continued to buck. When she saw that he was headed for a tree and a fence, she came off. Luckily it doesn't sound like she broke anything, but she is going to be pretty sore for awhile. That is the down side of horseback riding =(

I just got back from South Carolina, visiting Gilda and Nick, and teaching lessons at her place. It was my first time teaching that much - I taught 4 lessons today and 2 yesterday - and it was a very good experience. I was a little nervous at first, since two of the riders and horses were people I had not worked with before, but it went very well. Everyone was happy with their lessons, and they all want me back. It is nice to have the opportunity to get away from the farm and make a little extra money. Friday night Mary and I also went into Beaufort for the evening to check out their yearly Water festival, which was a lot of fun. This afternoon Gilda, Nick and I also went to the beach and did a little surfing. I stood up briefly, but fell over immediately. It was very windy and the waves were pretty big, so it wasn't the best conditions to try and learn on.

The other day Shannon Brinkman came and we did pictures for the website. I had 5 horses to do, and I am pretty pleased with how the pics turned out, though there are some position errors that I am still going to be working on.

Erin and I have moved into the Tobacco cottage. Jean wasn't too thrilled with the idea at first, but I convinced her that we deserved it, and we offered to help her furnish it and pay for some of the cost to heat/cool it. I love it over here, and have the whole upstairs to myself. I also have a little porch off my bedroom, and I love to do yoga out there, overlooking the horses in their fields. It is wonderful!