Today my mom and sister left after a teary goodbye at the airport. Thanks to the Garmin finding the Airport, the Walmart in Jacksonville, and my way back home was easy! What everyone has been saying about me being down here on my own finally hit me today as I was driving back from the airport. Though, I really don't feel like I am here alone, since I know all my family and friends are back home supporting me, and I am making new friends already. In fact, Camille came with Glory today, and invited me to dinner with her tonight. We had a nice chat over sangria, and she invited me to come visit her at any time.

Friday through Tuesday at the barn is busy with a clinic with a rider from the Spanish Riding school. It is a rare treat to have access to someone that upholds the classical dressage standards that I so strongly believe in, and to see that they really do produce real results in horses without any shortcuts. Tomorrow I am going to try to get some pictures if I have time.

It really struck me today that I finally feel completely free. My future is wide open, anything could happen. It feels great to have this fresh start in so many ways, including the fact that I am able to manifest in my life the things and the people that I want to be there. I am identifying patterns in myself that have held me back in the past and making different choices as well as continuing to do things that have served me well. I had a nice talk with Jean today, and she is interested in assigning me a string of horses to train, and I will be riding about 5 horses per day. I am excited to see what happens tomorrow!

We got on the road again by 8:00 this morning, and arrived at the farm around 6:30. I really enjoyed the drive today. Tennessee is beautiful, and my mom and I have started making plans for a visit to Nashville at some time in the future. The foliage in Georgia is beautiful as well, and we bought some peaches along the roadside that I can't wait to eat for breakfast tomorrow. Once we got into Florida, we started seeing the Spanish Moss, which I think is just beautiful.

Here is a little story for the fellow "Princess Bride" fans. We had stopped at a gas station to stretch our legs and get some snacks. Just before we got out, the dog, uncharacteristicly, farted. We went inside, I got a drink and some honey roasted peanuts. As we all piled back into the car, I said to the dog, "No more farting, and I mean it," and then turned to Mom and Hillary and said "Anybody want a peanut?" I don't think they fully appreciated the hillarity of it.

Anyway, as we arrived to the barn, I stopped to say hello to everyone, and was greeted very warmly. The people here are so nice, and supportive. I thought they were kidding when they commented on the fact that they were already making plans for what I would be doing when I got here; but when I spoke with Jean, the barn owner, she made it sound like I would realistically be riding 5 -6 horses a day! I will have an opportunity for my own project horses, young horses, as well as some of the more trained horses. I will be working closely with Erin, and will be getting a lot of instruction. This is exactly what I wanted! I know it will be a lot of hard work, but I am looking forward to that as well as making connections with all the people out here.

My party was a great time! It was good to see everyone one last time. Of course, I was crying by the end of the night. The moving truck came bright and early at 8:00 am the next day. Sunday was spent cleaning, getting ready to go, and saying some final good byes.

Today, Hillary, Mom and I hit the road at 8:00 am. It seems like we spent the whole day driving through boring Illinois. Finally, we arrived at Nashville, where we hit some late night road construction before finding a place to stay for the night. Thanks to a new GPS device, a road atlast, some mixed cds, and snacks for the road, the trip is going well so far, and even the dog seems to be enjoying it.

I will have a couple of days with Mom and Hillary before they leave on Friday. Camille is coming with Glory B is on Friday, and I can't wait to meet them both!

My last few days in Wisconsin

Tomorrow is my last day working at Metavante. I have worked there for almost 10 years. I have always considered it a job, not a career, though I have been somewhat successful at it, and I have definitely learned a lot. I have lived in Wisconsin my whole life, and the Madison area for 20 some years, but I don't think I have ever been happy here. It's just not for me. I don't know what I dislike more - the cold or the snow. My friends and family I will miss, but I know that the people closest to me will always be there, and I have often found myself valuing distant relationships more, just due to the fact that you have to put more effort into them.

My stuff is all packed (I have been packing for weeks) and in a few days I will be moving to Florida to pursue my dream of being a horse trainer. I am really excited! I am ready for a fresh start, and I feel like I am finally living my life genuinely. Nothing is holding me back, and I feel free for maybe the first time in my life. I also feel like I am finally an adult, and truly in charge of my own life. I have just finally realized that life is for me to live, and that I have to find my own way and not worry about what others think. There are things about me that are genuinely me, and I am learning to embrace those things. I am choosing to seek out supportive people who believe in me, and in doing so, I am finding more confidence in myself, which is something I have always lacked. But, I deserve to feel confident and good about myself, and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me any longer.

I am a talented rider! It has taken me years to be able to admit that, because there is really no reason for it. It's not like I grew up riding horses or anything, and I really didn't start riding until I was 20, which is much later than most people who go into the industry professionally. But, I can't compare myself to those that have had the fortune of riding horses every day of their life, and I am certainly past being jealous of them. I am just happy that I have the chance to do it, and see what transpires.

I already have my own client horse! Her name is Glory B, and she is beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. All I have ever wanted was for people to pay me to ride their horses, so this is a dream come true, and a huge step in the right direction. After a year of working at Valhalla, riding their wonderful horses, and getting instruction from Erin every day, I am certain my riding will improve tremendously. My riding greatly benefitted from working with Megan at Lindenhof and I was only riding once per day - at Valhalla I will be riding all day every day! Eventually I want to ride and train at the higher levels of dressage. I am not sure if I want to train, or focus on showing and travelling, I guess it just depends on where my talents lie, and what I find myself to be interested in more. I guess if I were to put it out there, my dream would be to travel the world showing at the high levels, and have someone sponsor a horse for me. But, I would also find happiness training horses, teaching lessons, and bringing horses and riders together, which I have already found to be so satisfying.

This weekend I am going to take some time to say good bye to people that are important to me. Saturday night I am having a going away party. Lots of my friends and family will be there, so I am really looking forward to it. I am going to miss everyone, so I am sure I am going to end up crying at some point in the night. The moving truck is coming right away at 7:00 am on Sunday morning, so I have to be all packed up and living out of a suitcase by then. Sunday I am going to spend cleaning the apartment, and then will stay overnight at my Grandparents' house. My mom and youngest sister are driving down with me, and we plan on leaving Monday morning. My dog is travelling with us, so that will be interesting. He is 10 years old, and still a pain in the butt =)