My last few days in Wisconsin

Tomorrow is my last day working at Metavante. I have worked there for almost 10 years. I have always considered it a job, not a career, though I have been somewhat successful at it, and I have definitely learned a lot. I have lived in Wisconsin my whole life, and the Madison area for 20 some years, but I don't think I have ever been happy here. It's just not for me. I don't know what I dislike more - the cold or the snow. My friends and family I will miss, but I know that the people closest to me will always be there, and I have often found myself valuing distant relationships more, just due to the fact that you have to put more effort into them.

My stuff is all packed (I have been packing for weeks) and in a few days I will be moving to Florida to pursue my dream of being a horse trainer. I am really excited! I am ready for a fresh start, and I feel like I am finally living my life genuinely. Nothing is holding me back, and I feel free for maybe the first time in my life. I also feel like I am finally an adult, and truly in charge of my own life. I have just finally realized that life is for me to live, and that I have to find my own way and not worry about what others think. There are things about me that are genuinely me, and I am learning to embrace those things. I am choosing to seek out supportive people who believe in me, and in doing so, I am finding more confidence in myself, which is something I have always lacked. But, I deserve to feel confident and good about myself, and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me any longer.

I am a talented rider! It has taken me years to be able to admit that, because there is really no reason for it. It's not like I grew up riding horses or anything, and I really didn't start riding until I was 20, which is much later than most people who go into the industry professionally. But, I can't compare myself to those that have had the fortune of riding horses every day of their life, and I am certainly past being jealous of them. I am just happy that I have the chance to do it, and see what transpires.

I already have my own client horse! Her name is Glory B, and she is beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. All I have ever wanted was for people to pay me to ride their horses, so this is a dream come true, and a huge step in the right direction. After a year of working at Valhalla, riding their wonderful horses, and getting instruction from Erin every day, I am certain my riding will improve tremendously. My riding greatly benefitted from working with Megan at Lindenhof and I was only riding once per day - at Valhalla I will be riding all day every day! Eventually I want to ride and train at the higher levels of dressage. I am not sure if I want to train, or focus on showing and travelling, I guess it just depends on where my talents lie, and what I find myself to be interested in more. I guess if I were to put it out there, my dream would be to travel the world showing at the high levels, and have someone sponsor a horse for me. But, I would also find happiness training horses, teaching lessons, and bringing horses and riders together, which I have already found to be so satisfying.

This weekend I am going to take some time to say good bye to people that are important to me. Saturday night I am having a going away party. Lots of my friends and family will be there, so I am really looking forward to it. I am going to miss everyone, so I am sure I am going to end up crying at some point in the night. The moving truck is coming right away at 7:00 am on Sunday morning, so I have to be all packed up and living out of a suitcase by then. Sunday I am going to spend cleaning the apartment, and then will stay overnight at my Grandparents' house. My mom and youngest sister are driving down with me, and we plan on leaving Monday morning. My dog is travelling with us, so that will be interesting. He is 10 years old, and still a pain in the butt =)