Last week when John came to get his stuff, he left in the afternoon on Tuesday for a chiropractic appointment and said he would be back but never did come back. That day I found my debit card missing even though Beth and I both hid our purses when John came back. I reported it to my bank and found out that someone tried to use my card at the B&B gas station in Wellborn, which is right down the road from here. I immediately knew it had to be John and filed a report with the Sheriffs department. A few days later when John came back, I called them again and the deputy sheriff came out to the farm and talked to him about the card. He got very upset and said he didn't take it or know who did. The sheriff left for the B&B to get more info, and John packed up all his stuff and was gone in 20 minutes. An admission of guilt if I ever saw one. He went by Erin's house and stopped to talk to her on his way out, and told her that it wasn't him that stole it, but his brother. Now he is a thief and a liar, because his brother was never on the property, I was here all day and it was only John. The guy has some serious issues.

I did not get a day off last week, so this week I have two days off! Just in time too, since I had two papers to write for my class. Now that those are done I am done for the semester, and I still have half the day off and don't know what to do with myself. Just one more semester to complete before I earn my Bachelor's degree. Hey - it only took about 10 years to get my 4 year degree! But honestly, I think having some life and work experience to lend to my studies caused me to get much more out of it than if I had completed it all right after high school. Not only that, but working this job and keeping up with classes has been hard, and I don't think a lot of people would even attempt it, but now I know that I can do it and I have much more confidence in myself. "Do hard things," right? ;)

My training horses are really coming along. Luc, especially, has been a pro. He is like a different horse on the ground, he's not in your face all the time, and he takes his job under saddle much more seriously now that we are doing more advanced work. He is coming along in the lateral work, and his canter is quite nice. Sometimes I get on that horse and I can't believe how well he is coming along, and how quickly too, with just me riding him.

I am really making a lot of progress with Raniero, too. I have been doing a lot of ground work with him to establish trust, and it's been really neat to see how that transfers over to under saddle work. The other day I rode him in the outdoor with Jean and Beth watching, and they both remarked at how good he looked. Now that I have his trust and I can start pushing him a little, I am going to start on lateral work with him as well.

Arella is a superstar! She is so talented and tries really hard - sometimes too hard and she gets tense. I always try to ride her with a smile. We are working on haunches in and counter canter, and they are both coming along. Pretty soon we are going to be doing half pass and flying changes. I love riding that horse because she is so sensitive. She is starting to trust me more too though, so I have been able to get in there and really ride her a bit more, rather than being so careful, as Iris puts it.

It is starting to get a little bit cold. Even though it gets into the 60s or 70s during the day, it is rather cold when we go out in the morning to do chores, and gets cold quickly when the sun goes down. My hands have been getting really dry, chapped, and cracked. I have had to put band aids on over the cracks and moisturize as often as I can. I think I need to get a really good pair of work gloves that are waterproof. Even though I have gloves, I will take them off when they get wet, and I think that is when I start to have problems with my hands. It is pretty apparent to me that I have not done much work with my hands prior to getting down here, since I often wake up with my hands feeling numb, sore, or with swollen joints. There have been mornings that I have woken up and thought "That's it, I can't use my hands today," but it usually goes away once I get going. Beth has made the same observation, though I have noticed that it gets better after awhile.

Beth and I do everything together! It is quite a change for me, as I am used to doing things mostly by myself. We have breakfast together, go to work together, do chores and ride together, take lunch breaks together and relax or socialize together at the end of the day. Last night we even woke up in the middle of the night at the same time to use the bathroom =) I feel very lucky to be living and working with someone that I get along with so well, though I am sure we are in the "honeymoon" period, and that we will have squabbles at some point. Her horse is on his way from Canada right now, and she is going to pick him up from the truck driver this Friday. I am going to try to go with her. She is very excited to have her horse here for training, and I am excited to ride him! I get excited every time I ride a new horse, since they all teach you something different. I was talking with some horsey people online, and I could not name all the horses I have ridden in my life, but I know it has to be well over 100 horses, maybe getting close to 200.

John actually came back last night to pick up some stuff. He needs to borrow a trailer to pick up his horses. Though he has tried a couple of times, he has not spoken to Jean yet. Now that he is back, he says that he misses it, and Iris is trying to talk him into staying. I don't know how I feel about it. In some ways I love having him around, and of course we need the extra help, but he also brings a lot of drama to the place, and it's kind of been nice to not have that.

I had a nice Thanksgiving, though it was the first Thanksgiving I had without my family. We had a fun day just me, Beth, and Luke, and played games on horseback. We also went out and played follow the leader in the field. Towards the end of the day some of the riding mares got into the field next door with a stallion, so we all had to go down there to catch them. Jean also made a Thanksgiving dinner, so I went and had dinner with Jean and Roy. I have been approved to take some time off to go home for Christmas, so I am looking at plane tickets right now. I am sort of excited to have a week of cold and snow - it doesn't feel like the holidays at all here! Though, I am glad that I don't have to put up with it for more than a week =)

John has still not come back to work. He went to his mom's house to have her help take care of him while he was sick, and as soon as he was about ready to come back to work, he got into a really bad car accident. Someone hit him, he went airborn and then smashed into someone else. He said that he really thought he was going to die. He got banged up pretty bad and is having some medical problems. The person he hit is not doing well at all either, and it sounds like they are having insurance issues. I hope that he gets everything straightened up, but I honestly don't know if he is going to come back to work or not. Even if he does, he is not going to be able to ride for awhile.

About a week ago we got a new girl in here - thank goodness! Her name is Beth, and she is from Canada. She used to work here 10 years ago. We instantly became friends, and I have really enjoyed having her here. She is a hard, efficient worker, and is very engaging and funny. She has traveled a lot and has lots of good stories to tell. She is really good with ground work and her mom is a professional equestrian. We balance each other out well and have a lot to learn from each other. In January she is taking a class to become a certified equine masseuse, and I am thinking of joining her. Jean might even pay for it, since her horses are going to benefit from the practice. I just need to make sure it doesn't interfere with my school work, which has been hard to keep up with. But, I only have two weeks left this semester, and then one more class to go before getting my degree - woo hoo!

Andrew came back with three of his stallions this past week. He was working with Immy to take him through the final phase of his approval with the ATA. Andrew is inspirational to me. He is such an amazing rider and trainer, and I know he got his start exactly as I did and progressed to where he is by sticking with it and working hard, which is what I plan to do. Erin said today that it takes 6 months of work to make even a small change in your position. I have been here for 4 months, and have been working on so many things that I know that one day everything is just going to click, even though I can see big improvements in my riding already.

I am going to talk to Jean about taking some time off to go home for Christmas to see my family and friends back home. I hope it works out, I am looking forward to seeing everyone again - but I am not looking forward to the cold! The weather has been perfect here lately, and I have really enjoyed it!

Just a quick update - John has been sick with the swine flu for several days, so there has been a lot of work to do! However, Tracy has been doing more and more with feeding the barn, and Hakim and Elana have been helping me bring horses in and out. The first couple of days were really rough, because Erin was also out and I had to work all of her horses, so I did not get to ride much. However, today I got to ride quite a bit. Erin, Iris, and Jean are all leaving to go to the ATA tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday, so we will have to keep things running. Hopefully John will get better and come back to work. Actually, I hope he comes back, because we don't actually know where he is right now. Regardless of all the work I have been doing, I am staying positive. I know that Jean is seeing how dedicated I am and has been grateful, and I am making it clear that I am working so hard because I really want to ride. She says that I have come so far, and she really wants to make sure that I can continue to ride and improve, which really means a lot. She is also giving me a raise which is nearly unheard of!

We just had a pony come in for training, and guess who gets to ride him - me! He is so gosh darn cute, I just want to eat him up! I will have to get pictures, he is really something. He is a German Riding pony, so he is really fancy. I also have a new training horse, Raniero. He is a black Hanoverian, really big, beautiful, and athletic. I am doing some ground work with him right now until we are confident that he is not going to over react under saddle. I can't wait to get on him though!

Luc has been steadily improving. He is really smart and seems to think the work is fun. We started doing lateral work, and now all he wants to do is go sideways! I practiced riding a quadrille on him today, and he really did well.

I knew this would happen! I have been too busy to update my blog. I even forgot my password to get in here. I have been thinking about updating it, but when I think of everything that has happened, I get overwhelmed and put it off...

Well, we had a girl from Washington state come for awhile. Katie, she groomed for me and Erin. It was great to have her help and I really liked working with her. Unfortunately, Erin did not get to help her with her riding much, and I ended up teaching her quite a bit. I think her riding did improve during her time here, but I am certain that she did not travel all the way from Washington to take lessons from me! I have been teaching quite a bit lately, actually. Sometimes I feel like I teach as much as I ride. It is like anything else, I just need more confidence and practice at it. I feel pretty good when it's just me and the rider, but when others are around listening to me, I can sometimes get a little nervous, but I am working on that. When I can really help someone though, it feels really good.

Erin has been out of the barn quite a bit lately, and is going to be at the ATA inspection next week as well. This means that I have had a lot of time to work on my own. Working on my own is both good and bad. I don't have the instruction to help me improve my riding, but I can also focus on things that I am trying to work on, both with me and the horse. Adeline has been one horse in particular that has been tricky for me. She wants to run around upside down and not get over her wither at all. Erin had me riding her with the running martingale, to keep her head down. When I ride on my own, I try not to use training aids, so when I had a lesson with her on Adeline the other day, and I told her that I was not using it, she was skeptical. However, she said that she looked good! She also told me that I was doing a good job with Arella, even though I thought it could have been better. I am trying to hold on to those things, because I really need to boost my confidence in order to get to the next level.

John tells me my riding has improved more than I know, which I know has to be true because Erin has me riding her top horses while she is gone. John says that she never lets anyone ride those horses without her around. On them I am practicing haunches-in, half pass, and flying changes. I can also ride a pretty good canter pirouette, but I do not mess around with piaffe and passage unless someone is there to help me.

It is only me and John running the farm right now. We had a girl that was going to take Katie's spot, but she only worked half a day and had to go home because her child was sick. That was yesterday, and she still hasn't come back. I have not had a real day off in over two weeks now. I had half a day off on Tuesday, so I could run Katie to the airport, and took today off, but had to go in to help with turnout. I am not really complaining, I know it's only temporary, and I still love it here, so I just work on being thankful.

Iris's sister is here this week from Germany teaching a clinic. I was lucky and got to ride in it twice. I rode Mocha II and Luc. I got a lot of good advice on exercises for them, as well as some new tools for my riding. Camille rode Glory and got some good tips as well. I guess Glory was acting up, which is actually good in a clinic situation, because you learn how to work through it. She is taking Glory home tomorrow, and has dropped of the new training horse, Renero. He is a black Hanoverian that I don't know much about yet. We are going to start with some ground work and see where he's at.

Halloween is in a couple of days, and I don't even have a costume yet! I hope we end up going out or doing something!

Well, Tiffany and Andrew are officially gone =( I miss them already. They are supposedly coming back this weekend. Tiffany and I are going to really try to keep in touch, and I do plan on visiting since they are only 3 hours away.

Erin and I went to a show last weekend. It was really the first horse show I have gone to. We took Immy and Luc. Immy showed training level and got a 74%, and first level and got a 72%. Luc was there to keep Immy company and also to school him. He was a real stinker the first day, acting spooky and rearing while I was leading him in the indoor, but we worked through it and he was really good the second day. I really think that horse is going to be a good horse some day.

The night I got back from the show we all went to Gainesville to go dancing again for Tiffany's last day. We ended up going to one of the clubs we went to before, but it was a really good time.

Erin and I got a groom. Her name is Katie. She is from Bellevue, Washington and lives with me and John. She is taking a year off after high school before going to college. She is a super good kid and I already feel like a big sister to her. She has helped me out by grooming for Erin and helping me get my horses ready, and I have been giving her lessons. I sat in on a lesson Erin was giving her, and it was a relief to me that I had been telling her the same thing!

I have also had a few really good lessons lately. Erin is having more and more faith in my abilities and lets me work on my own, which means I get to ride more. In lessons, she pushes me hard - to the point where witnesses would say that she is mean - but I really feel that my riding is improving, and she tells me so as well. I am also starting to ride some of the upper level movements, like half pass, canter pirouettes, piaffe, and passage, which is really cool!

I am not only learning to ride, I am learning to train, and I am learning the difference between the two. I am at the point now where riding feels easy, it's the training part that is difficult. Learning the timing of corrections, the intensity, and when to back off is really what's going to make me as a trainer. I also just need a little bit more confidence. I am finding that I tend to wait and see what is going to happen rather than get in there and make something happen. Hmm, it's funny that I was just reminded of a quote today - "how you do anything is how you do everything." At least I realize it now and can change it.

I even got on a baby horse for the first time today! Hertzenfurst - which literally means "Heart Prince." He is such a doll. I have been working with him on the ground since I got here, and liked him so much that I told Erin I wanted to be the first one to get on him, and today I got my wish! He was perfect! Erin walked me through the whole process. It was neat to see how every little step was broken down, and that I could clearly see well before I even got on that it wasn't going to be a problem. Starting young horses used to be such a magical mystery to me, but now I am confident that with a little more experience I will be able to do it myself some day.

I also found out today that some clients (with $30,000 to spend) are coming this weekend to look at 3 of the horses I have been working with - Arella, Adeline, and Mocha II. I overheard Erin talking about it today, and she is confident that I will be able to show them for the clients. That is a real compliment! It's also a little pressure, but I know I will be able to handle it.

We have had many 12 and 13 hour days lately. We are short on help. Tiffany came back a few days ago though, and things have been running much more smoothly. We have had some trouble with Rebecca. Not only has she been coming in late habitually, but she also took 2 days off last week, when we are only allowed 2. Tiffany explained that typically we have to save up days to get an extra day off, so she will not get a day off next week. I hear from John that Rebecca is looking for another job, which does not surprise me, though it would be better for her to stick it out.

Andrew and Tiffany are going to be leaving next week, and today is Tiffany's birthday. We are supposed to be going out for dinner, but it's already 7:30 and everyone is still working. I went over to have some girl talk with Tiffany last night, which was really nice. Mostly I just let her talk while I listened, prompting her with questions as necessary. We talked about her plans for the future and her future goals. We also talked about God and her spiritual journey. I told her that part of my goals for my time here is to work on my path spiritually. She gave me a book to read. I also let her know that she should call me up if they find out at some point in the future they will need help at their farm, though of course we will be keeping in touch anyway.

I had a really good ride on Adeline yesterday. She has been a tricky horse for me to ride, especially since she is one that Erin trained, and whenever I ride her poorly in a lesson with Erin, she always yells at me and makes me nervous, which makes me ride even worse! However, Erin took 2 days off and I made it a point to ride Addy on both days to try to figure her out on my own. Then, yesterday I rode her with Erin watching from the jump pen, and she said it looked really good. Even Jean said that she stopped to watch me for a few minutes. Later that day I heard Erin on the phone and she referred to me as her "assistant" rather than her "working student" and I knew that I was starting to prove my value as a rider. She also gave me a lesson on Trevor yesterday, and we did piaffe, passage, and canter pirouettes! That is the high level stuff that I have been wanting to get a chance to work on. I have also been telling Erin that we need a groom to get our horses ready so that we can both ride more, and I found out today that we will be getting one in a few days! I am very excited, and expect that I will get to start riding 4-5 horses a day.

Next weekend Erin and I are going to a show. I didn't find out until the last day to enter, otherwise I would have taken Luc. I am still taking him to school him, but we did not get to enter. Gilda is very excited and supportive of me taking Luc to shows, so I should get a chance to take him to a couple at least.

Last week I had two days off to visit Amy in Orlando. It was like a vacation to me! We went out for dinner and then drinks at the piano bar, Jelly Rolls, on Tuesday night. The piano players were great and knew all the song suggestions except one that Amy requested. However, they took a break and came back to play it and it was wonderful! Wednesday morning we slept in then went swimming in their private pool and then went to have a big lunch which included two desserts. Yum!

I have been stung by a hornet while turning out one of the stallions - twice. The first time I didn't know what it was, but two days later my leg swelled up and turned red and itchy. My leg was so swollen that I could not even get my riding boots on. The next time I turned him out I saw some orange bugs flying around, thought that maybe that was what stung me and tried to go around but got stung anyway. We sprayed the area and killed them all. That was yesterday, and my ankle is starting to swell up now. It's weird that it takes so long for the symptoms to show up. Erin and Iris gave me an accupuncture treatment this morning, and I have been taking a homeopathic remedy that is supposed to help rid the toxins from my body. Just to be on the safe side, I have also been taking benedryl and spraying it with Lanacain. I don't think anything has made any difference and I am pretty sure that my ankle is going to be very swollen tomorrow.

Today is my day off, and I had some homework to catch up on. Now that is done, and I am actually bored. We don't even have a tv over here yet.

John and I ran the farm by ourselves the other day. We were dreading it at first, but it actually turned out to be a great day! We left some of the horses out that didn't need to come in for special feed or treatments, which saved us a lot of work. We both got to ride quite a bit, and even went out in the 40 acre field to do some conditioning work. I took Luke out, and even though he was bratty at first, he got much better by the end. John said that work would change his attitude, and he was actually much better in the ring the next day. We will see how he is now that he has had a day off. John and I did not finish work until 8:30 or so, but we both agreed that it was a pleasant day.

Della has gone home. We are still not sure if she has decided on a horse. Rebecca is expecting a lot and starting to complain about the work. She has also been staying with her mom in Gainesville, rather than staying on the farm with the rest of us. The past two days she has been late. I can't wait until Tiffany comes back, because she is going to straighten out a lot of things.

Let me 'splain, no there is too much, let me sum up.

Rebecca is staying next door with Iris, and Della (the 15 year old) is staying with me and John. Della is very nice and is a very good rider. She is trying some of the horses here and will probably go home with one. Mocha II is one that I have been training. She was interested in him at first, but he is not quite ready yet, he still needs some more development. I think she is going to buy Falcor, who is a good match for her, and who she rides very well.

Rebecca and I did not get along at first, but we have worked things out and now the barn is running smoothly again. However, Drew and Tiffany have turned in their notice to Jean and will be leaving in a couple weeks. They are going to get their own place to focus on training, selling, and showing their own horses. They are going to be missed greatly, and we are all going to be scurrying to run the barn without a manager for awhile. We are getting it done right now, but it is stressful.

John is starting to really stress about it, since a lot of the responsibilities fall to him. However, John got kicked while working with a young horse today, and he may have broken his arm. He does not have insurance, so he did not go to the doctor. It swelled up a lot and looks very painful.

Erin has been showing more confidence in my riding and has been having me ride more of her horses. In fact, she pretty much gave me Adeline, a black mare, to train. I am also beginning to work with Bosho, a new gelding of hers. I am really excited about Bosho, since he is very talented and gorgeous! He is a tall chestnut horse with beautiful movement. He is from Wisconsin and came to the farm the same weekend I did. His owners basically gave him to Erin since they were having so much trouble with him. I have only ridden him once, but Erin said that it was the best she has seen him go.

Both Glory and Luc's owners have come to visit their horses. Glory was really good, and I think Camille is very happy with her. Luc has never offered to buck with me, but he did when his owner was watching me ride. I am always disappointed when the horses do not show their owners the progress they have made, but at least she saw me work it through with him, which is why he is here in the first place.

I get two days off starting tomorrow! Amy is in Orlando with her family, so I am going to meet up with her. We are going to go out on Tuesday night, and then perhaps lounge around on Wednesday. It will be great to see her as well as get out to see different parts of Florida and relax!

I did end up going to the springs today, and I am glad I did. It was really relaxing, and a nice change of pace. Florida is so beautiful, I felt like we were in the everglades. It was sort of too bad to cheapen it by floating down on plastic rafts.

I also got a lot of unpacking done, and things are starting to come together - though I still have a lot to do, and still have a few things over at Iris's. I feel much more comfortable here already, since I can actually use the stuff I brought with me, rather than just feel like I am trying to find a place to put things so that they are not in the way. Rebecca says that her room is too small, and so she is planning on staying with Iris, but I don't think she really knows what to expect. It sounds like she is already complaining about the clutter over there, and the place is actually much cleaner now that I have been there alone for a month. The 15 year old girl is going to be staying with her mom in a place down the road, but it sounds like she is only going to be here for a week or two. Regardless, with the extra help, I am going to get to start riding more, which will make me happy!

Things do not slow down around here. They just go from crazy to crazier. We are getting two new girls to help us. Of course, no one knew exactly when they were coming. One of them is taking my room, and I am moving next door, so I sort of needed to know when she was getting here. Thankfully, most of my stuff got moved today, and she is coming tomorrow. I am staying the night at my old place because I need to get a new bed. I absolutely will not sleep in the bed provided at the other place, the mattress is probably 30 years old, and with my back I cannot do it. Of course, I will take the bed with me when I move from here.

Erin wants to take me floating down the river tomorrow on my day off, which I would love to do if I have the time. I need to get a hair cut, oil change, bed shop, and unpack tomorrow. Classes start in a few days as well, and I need to get some reading done. I really don't think I am going to make it, but it would be good for me to at least try. Next week Amy is coming to Orlando, and I am going to take a day and a half off to visit with her, so that will be a nice break from the farm at least.

I had 3 really good rides today. Luc is improving each time I ride him. He is getting his leads right almost every time, and he hasn't offered to buck at all, which is why his owner put him into training in the first place. It really gives me a lot of confidence to be able to get through to a horse like that. Glory is getting more fit and energetic every day. She has some issues bending to the left, but as long as I keep in mind that it is hard for her, and not that she is being naughty, we are able to work through it. I also rode Mocha II today. He hardly did any head tossing, and his back is getting stronger. We have been doing a lot of canter work, which really seems to help relax him. The young girl that is coming is interested in him. I think she might buy him when she sees how well he is going, and that would be a good opportunity for me to make a little more money. The good news is that with the extra help, I should be able to ride more.

I took Boscoe to the barn with me this morning to join me for turn in. He was really good! He stayed by me, did not get underfoot of the horses, and did not bark at anyone. Of course, I had meat chunks in my pocket, but whatever works! There are lots of other dogs for him to play with out there, since most everyone has dogs. Some day he may be able to stay with me all day, but just mornings for now is fine. If he gets along with Erin's dogs, he could stay with them in the tack room while I am riding during the day, but he would most likely bark while he is in there at this point. I am happy and my dog is happy!

I rode 4 horses both today and yesterday. I am trying to get as much riding in while I can. Once Tiffany, our barn manager, leaves for vacation, I am going to be expected to feed the barn, which will cut in on my riding time =( My riding is improving daily, and Erin says that I am very teachable. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, and I work out lifting weights and doing yoga when I am at home to increase my strength and flexibility. Erin pushes me pretty hard some times. Some times I feel like she thinks I am riding terribly, but at the end of the lesson she always says that she is pleased with me and that things are getting better over all, which really means a lot.

We are thinking about going salsa dancing again tomorrow night, if we get off work early enough. I also got my textbook for the class I am taking next semester. It is going to be a lot of work to keep up with school, but I am sure that I can do it.

Iris gets back from Brazil in a few days, which I am starting to get uncomfortable with. She does not like living with a dog. John next door has a puppy, there are two empty rooms right now, and the new girl coming in has a small dog as well. If we can get a washer and dryer in there, I think it would be better for me to just move in there.

I have the day off today and slept in until 11:30. Yes!!! I didn't get to bed until 3:00 am though, since we went to Gainesville again last night. We had a going away celebration for Anna and went out for some sushi (yum!) and then went to a club to dance. We danced the night away and it was a lot of fun, even though it was extremely packed and really hot in there. I am so glad that I do not have to work today, and I don't know how the others are doing it. Tonight we are having a cook out as well.

Camille came to visit this weekend. I rode Glory for her on Friday, and Glory was really naughty so I had to work through a few things with her, rather than just show off what we have been doing, which was kind of frustrating. The horse was mad because I usually ride her right away in the morning, but that day I rode her last and the feed cart passed by us as she was standing in the cross ties. She was thinking about food the whole time we were working. I guess I learned to mix things up a bit more! On Saturday she was much better though. Camille rode her and thinks I am doing a very good job with her, which is really nice to hear. Camille gets to ride a lot when she comes to visit, so it is really good for her as well.

My other training horse, Luc, is coming along nicely so far. He is a really cute little guy, but he is totally green. John got on him for me the other day to give me another perspective on him. I just love how everyone helps each other out here, and John actually thanked me for letting him ride him! My understanding is that Luc's owner is a timid rider, so she has been holding him back. He tries really hard to take care of his rider, but he is also young and green, so sometimes he acts out in frustration. Hopefully we can get Gilda to enjoy Luc as much as Camille is starting to enjoy Glory.

Every day is eventful around here. Yesterday the dentist showed up in the morning, and none of us were even aware she was coming. She ended up having to do 14 horses, which really throws our day off, since someone has to help get the horses and hold them for her. In the case of badly behaving horses, it takes two people to hold them. The horses also take awhile to wake back up from the drugs, so they cannot be turned out right away. Jean will also throw me a curve ball every now and then, and I am afraid that she thinks I am not paying attention to what is going on around the farm. However, I have been riding more consistently lately, and Erin has been really supportive of my riding. I have had a few really good rides with her this past week, so I think she is starting to put more faith in my abilities. On days when she is not in, I end up having to lunge and free jump a bunch of her horses for her when I would really rather be riding. On those days I just remind myself that I am a professional equestrian, not just a rider, and put my efforts into doing the best job I can. For the first time in my life I feel like I am fully engaged in every moment of my life, and it is a great feeling!

Today I got my second training horse! His name is Luc, and he is a Trakehner/Quarter horse. He is 6. His owner has not been riding him consistently, and has had some trouble with him. I lunged him today and rode him a little bit, and she said that he was doing very well with me. It is nice to make a little extra money, and I am starting to really feel like a professional equestrian! It feels really great to have been here less than a month and to already have two paying clients.

Glory B is doing fabulously. She seems to have some allergies, so sometimes our work is interrupted by coughing fits, but now that she is starting to have some fitness, we are starting to get some really good work. I am having a little trouble bending her to the left, she wants to throw her left shoulder in, but otherwise the transitions and the lateral work are really coming along. She has a really cute medium trot and really tries hard! I have started wearing spurs when riding her, just to get her a little quicker to the leg, and have had good results so far. I am actually thinking about getting a new pair, since the ones I have are a little more than I really need with her, and are too much to wear with any of the others.

I had Sunday off and went to Jacksonville beach, to see the Ocean. I had a really nice time and acquired quite a sunburn. But, it was a little empty, since all of my friends were working and I had to go by myself. I really don't mind doing things by myself, and stopped for a nice slice of pizza, but when I think about it, I do feel a bit lonely from time to time. I have been talking to John, and he has been saying that we need to go on a "date" some time. Tomorrow night we are going to watch a movie if we get done with work on time. Otherwise, though, the group of us do tend to do a lot together. Anna is going to be leaving next week, so we are going to go out one night, as well as have a cook out. Fairly regularly we also go out for breakfast at the Whistle Stop. I am really looking forward to going out on Saturday. We are meeting Luke again in Gainesville.

Today was a great day! We started at 7:30 instead of 6:30, and got done before 6:00! I told everyone that we have to figure out what we did right today that we have not been doing right on the days where we start at 6:30 and do not get done until after 7:00.

I rode 3 horses today, which is pretty typical at this point, though I always want to ride more. I took Glory in a hack in the 40 acre field. She has been working really hard in the ring, so it was a nice change for her. The peanut hay is blooming right now, so it's really pretty out there, and we will probably get some riding pics out there since they always turn out nice.

I had a good lesson on Adeline. Her feet have been sore lately, and yesterday she did not want to move forward at all. Today we tried some boots on her that are designed for horses that climb in the rocks! They worked well and she was much happier. Erin was working with me on riding more from my seat and legs and less with my hands, which I have noticed a lot lately. I am also tweaking my posting trot, and trying to get my heels down more, as well as starting to use my entire leg as an aid, rather than just my calf.

I also rode Mocha II. Erin is having me ride him much more over the back, more deep and round than I typically ride, and I am interested to see the results from that type of riding on this type of horse. He wants to run around inverted and throw his head up in the air. I am teaching him that throwing his head up means that he has to bend more, which he never gets mad about, he just accepts it. He has a really great disposition and is very athletic. I think he is going to be a great horse, so I can't wait to see the improvement in him.

Florida is great (except for the bugs) and I have the day off tomorrow, so I am going to try and do some sight seeing. The unfortunate part is that none of my friends have off on the same day as I do, so I will have to do it by myself, unless I want to do something with Erin, but she just started seeing someone, so it's hard to get her to break away.

I think it's neat to see the affect I am having on the people at the barn. Everyone says that I am fitting in well, since we are all friends and like to have fun and joke around, but I am also encouraging them to take care of themselves. For example, before I got here, they would all work through their lunch, unless they were "lucky" enough to get a lunch. Personally, I think it's crazy to work 12 + hours without eating, so I told them to just take a lunch when they were hungry. Rather than ask "Can I take a lunch?" say "I am going to grab something to eat, and when I get back I will do x, y, z." John told me the other day that he is so glad that I am encouraging them to do that because now he has the energy to make it through the day. Well - duh!

Here are some pics from salsa dancing the other night.

Last night, John, Tiffany, Anna, Cameron and I went into Gainesville to meet Luke for salsa lessons and then to a salsa club. Luke is an advanced dancer, but the rest of us were in the beginner group. We had a lot of fun, and we are planning on going back for more lessons.

The salsa club was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. First of all, there was zero alcohol involved, and I quickly discovered that I am quite shy when it comes to dancing, especially when I don't know the steps. However in salsa dancing, the man is really supposed to lead the way, so if you are dancing with a guy that knows what he is doing, you can fake it pretty well to onlookers, though your partner is likely to know that you are clueless! Most of the dancers there were really good, and it was like being in the club scene from Dirty Dancing. It was really fun to get Tiffany out dancing since she doesn't tend to go out very much.

We stayed out too late and got a late start this morning. The family that does our hay and cleans our stalls is also on vacation this weekend, so we have to do that ourselves. Being down a couple people (Laura and Andrew) means that the majority of our days this weekend will be spent doing those things, with little opportunity for riding. However, we also have clients coming, so that throws our routine off further. I like having variety, so I am really not complaining, and it is sort of nice to have a break from riding.

Jean has also started talking to me about a potential new training horse that she would like to bring in for me to work with. This would mean a little bit more money, which would be great!!!

I find that when I let more than a couple days go by between posts, I have so much to catch up on that I am bound to miss something, which will be the case with this post, I am sure.

Thursday night, John, Anna, Laura and I went to Applebees for karaoke. Anna brought her boyfriend and his friend. It was nice to get away from the farm together and let loose a little. In fact, we were rehashing a story from the day over drinks and I guess we got a little too rowdy because the manager came up to us and asked us to stop swearing. We had a good time that night, and it was worth being a little tired at work the next day.

Camille came to visit on Friday and Saturday to see how Glory was doing. Glory has lost 100 pounds already! Camille seemed to be pretty happy with how Glory was coming along, which I was very glad about. Glory was actually really great on Friday, but then seemed to be pretty tired on Saturday, so we gave her Sunday off. I gave Camille a lesson on the lunge line, and when Camille remarked to Erin that I seemed to have good skills at a teacher, I made my usual remark of "I would like to teach lessons someday," to which Camille confirmed, "You are!" Oh yeah, that's right, I am an equestrian professionally now. Thanks for the reminder =)

Laura was bringing horses in this morning, and Honorbound was acting bratty. She took a moment to take him aside to teach him a lesson about being respectful, and he unexpectedly kicked her. I saw the horse run off and heard Laura moaning, so I ran up to see her lying on the ground. I really didn't know what to do other than ask her what happened, what she thinks she hurt, and to tell her to not get up until Tiffany came to assist. She went to the ER with Jean where it was found that she broke her elbow in 3 places. She has to go to Gainesville on Friday to have surgery and have a pin put in. Now we have Laura, Anna, Tiffany, and Andrew all leaving. Anna and Tiffany have a couple more weeks, I believe, and after that it will just be me and John, so hopefully they will get someone else in right away. Luke is helping out riding some of the horses, but he does not do any of the chores.

I am working on expanding my "list" of horses that I am going to be working with. I had my first ride on Mocha II on Friday, and then showed him to clients on Saturday. Today I rode Scooter for a group of clients for the first time as well. He is so trustworthy that I even went over a little jump with him. Scooter is an Arabian gelding that got left here by one of their previous working students. He is a really sweet horse and is a little sad because he doesn't know where his owner went. I don't think she is coming back for him and Jean is trying to sell him to cover the board that she owes for him. I am going to try to get Scooter on my list even though he is not as fabulous as some of the other horses - just because I like him. So far I have not been riding as much as I expected to. I am riding typically 2 or 3 times per day, and I was expecting to ride 5 or 6 horses a day. I made it clear to Erin today that I want to ride more, so we will see if that happens with her, otherwise I will talk to Jean about it, since I know Jean really wants me to ride as much as I can.

I am acclimated to the weather already. I have been remarking for the past couple of days how it hasn't been so hot and it has been more comfortable. However, I just checked the weather and it has still been in the mid 90s. Yesterday we had a tropical depression, but did not really get any rain. It is the end of hurricane season, and we are expecting a couple tropical storms, but I don't think any of them sound too bad. I am a bit skeptical, actually, because I have noticed that even when it storms really hard here, it only lasts for a little while and then it clears up and is nice again.

Here are some pics of Glory B that Camille took when she was visiting this weekend. Glory was really great on Friday (when the pictures were taken) but was really lazy on Saturday. I think she was sore and/or tired, since she is still pretty out of shape. However, she has lost 100 pounds already in 2 weeks!

Today is going to be another 14 hour day. However, I was able to break away after my morning chores and renew my drivers license, and I am on a short break right now. Now I have a Florida drivers license! Yay! Unfortunately, the picture sort of illustrated to me that I really need to get my hair cut. I was trying to grow it out, but I really don't think it does anything for me, especially since I don't have time to deal with it most of the time. And I really like it short, and it's way too hot for long hair, it's typically in the mid 90s during the day, with it reaching 90 by 10:00 am.

I took Glory out in the 40 acre field for some conditioning work. She had a really good time and behaved nicely. Everyone at the barn thinks she is so cute, and her owner is coming this weekend to see her. I am going to try to get some pics of me riding her as well as some of the others. I also had a lesson on Arella. Arella is a tense and nervous mare, but has a fair amount of training. I tend to do well getting the tense ones to relax once trust is established, and as long as I stay balanced mentally and physically. It was my 3rd ride on her today, and I had some very nice work, but she does want to swing her haunches in when cantering right.

I rode Honorbound today! He is so cute, and I think he is going to be my project horse. He looks so dapper in my black and white tack. He has not really had any consistent work, so I am excited to see how he will respond to the training. He does get a little strong and wants to pull and sticks his head up in the air. I am working on not letting him pull me out of position while asking for bending. We had moments of very nice work, and he even started to stretch down at the end of the ride, which Erin said he never did before.

After my break I am going to work with John and ride Wassail. Wassail is a youngster that John started, who is now at the point where he is ready for some more dressage training. I might end up taking over riding him as well. I am averaging riding 4 horses per day right now, which I think is very good, given how hot it is. Once it starts to cool down, and I am in a little better condition, I hope to increase that to 5 or 6 horses per day, but that is hard to do when I have to groom and tack up my own horses as well as helping Erin with hers.

Today was a pretty good day, though I was exhausted for most of it. It was really hot today, and I had to work outside in the sun a lot. I also had to feed the outside herds again this morning, but John helped me - and thank goodness for John! He actually made it fun and we did not have too many problems with the horses.

Erin took the day off, and I ended up working 8 horses myself today. It felt like quite the accomplishment! Glory is getting better at the lateral work. Her owner is coming to visit this weekend, so I should be able to get some nice pictures this weekend.

I had a seat lesson with Anna on Wyanette (who bucked again on the right lead canter) and Anna said that I am a very pretty rider, which was very nice to hear. But hopefully I am also effective! The other rides I had today were not memorable, but I had some really good ground work today. Herzi, a 4 year old chestnut that I told Erin I want to help start, was very good today. The other day I put a saddle on him for the first time, and he bucked a little bit, but today there was no bucking at all. He is so sweet and very sensible, so I think he will be a good one to work with to get experience starting young horses.

Honorbound is another young horse that I have been working with. Today I free jumped him. I think he is 5 now, and he used to be a stallion, but they gelded him because he was too much of a handful. I saw him ridden the other day and he was just lovely. He is black with a stripe on his face and 2 socks. He looks so dainty since he is really refined, but he has so much presence and confidence. I hope to start riding him this week.

Today is my birthday! I am 31 today, though I hardly feel it. Yesterday, we got out of work on time, and all decided to go to Applebees for food and drinks. We played "what if," which is a fun game that allows you to be a little silly. I had a piece of chocolate cake at midnight, which we all shared. When asked what I would be doing on my birthday if I was back in Wisconsin, I said that I would be out with all my friends, and started to cry. It was then that I really, really missed everyone!

This morning, Erin and I went to Alachua to go to The Temple of the Universe. The name sounds a little strange, and there are some odd rituals that they go through, but the lectures are very interesting and the people are very nice. Today they talked about the mind, and how "you" are not your mind or your thoughts. I am to the point right now that I realize that I can observe my thoughts and choose to listen to them or not, and sometimes I will consciously choose to think a different thought if the one that is in my mind does not serve me, but the lecture took it one step further and suggested that we start to question "who" is being affected by these thoughts to begin to see who "I" really am. At the end of the lecture, there was some singing in sancrit. I did not sing along since I did not know the words, or even understand what they were singing about, but some people were really getting into it, and some people were even crying. After that, we all stood around in a big circle and held hands and had some time for announcements. Erin announced that it was my birthday, and everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It was the most people that I have ever had sing me happy birthday.

After the Temple, Erin, her friend Shannon, and their friend Ashley (a guy) and I all went to lunch. I was a little nervous, since I was supposed to only take a half day off from work, but I checked in with the barn manager and she said that this would be my day off this week then. That actually means that I will have to work more than a week without a day off now, but I think it will be ok. We had a very yummy lunch, and some good conversation. Erin was very thoughtful and gave me a gift. Their friend Ashley is very attractive, is an accupuncturist and runs a meditation class. He is from the Midwest as well, Monroe, actually. I thought he was interested in me since he kept finding reasons to touch me, but he did not ask for my number. I didn't exactly make it easy for him though either, which he is probably used to, so we will see if anything happens in the future.

I found fleas on Boscoe and I freaked out. He had a flea and tick preventative on, so I don't know how it happened, but apparently all the dogs and cats out here have fleas. I have never had to deal with fleas, and I could hardly sleep last night because I was afraid that they were going to get on me somehow. So, today I went to Wal-Mart and got a flea collar, a flea spray, and a room spray as well as a flea shampoo. That should take care of it, but it will be an ongoing process. Gross!!!!

My friends at the barn were talking about taking me to the springs for my birthday yesterday, so I was a bit surprised when I got home and saw them getting into the car to leave without having called me to let me know they were going. I think they are mad at me for ducking out of work today, but that is not a good enough reason to ruin my birthday! Ah well, I hate to be disappointed by people, but at least it is sooner rather than later with this bunch.

Today started out pretty rough. I got to the barn as usual at 6:30 and started bringing in horses. However, shortly after I got a call from the others saying that they decided not to start until 7:30, since we had a long day the day before. I went back to the house and decided to work out, which was fine since I had not really had much chance to do that since I got here. I got back to work feeling great and I decided to tackle the job of feeding the outside herds on my own for the first time. That is when it started going downhill.

Feeding the herds is a big job, which involves driving around the entire property on a golf cart loaded with huge a bucket of oats, various smaller buckets with particular feed for particular horses, and 3 different kinds of supplements. You have to know which horse gets which feed, how much, as well as what supplements. That part went fine. However, another part of the job is herding various herds of horses into stalls to feed them. There are mares and babies, yearlings and two year olds, and tease mares. When I brought the yearlings in, I was missing 2 horses, so I went back out to the pasture (which is huge and has 3 sections), almost got stuck out there in the golf cart, and could not find them. Come to find out that 2 had been left in to show clients. Would have been nice to know! Also, herding the horses into their stalls is really a two person job, since they are all trying to get into the same stalls, and every time you turn around a horse is trying to get into the oats, and one of the stalls does not latch well so that causes problems as well. After I fed those horses, I brought in the tease mares, and had too many horses! I had to have someone come out for the extraneous mares.

Working horses went a little better. Today was not dressage intensive, as we had the vet out treating horses all day. I free jumped some horses, including Glory, who is a really cute jumper, and also went on a trail ride. I did work one horse in the ring, and she wanted to buck every time we went into the right lead canter.

Tomorrow is my birthday, so I am taking the morning off to go to the Temple with Erin. My friends (the other working students) also want to go into Gainesville tonight for a bit, so that should be fun.

I had my day off yesterday. I was very productive and went to Starbucks for breakfast and did some studying. I went to the grocery store, did some more unpacking, and buckled down again for more homework. I have completed nearly everthing for both of my classes and now just need to take finals.

Iris, one of the trainers and my roommate, left for Brasil today to visit her boyfriend for a month. So last night a group of us went out for dinner to wish her well on her trip. It will be nice to have the place to myself for awhile to get settled in, and we will have a few things to work on when she gets back to see if it's possible for us to continue to live together. She does not like my dog, for one thing, and says his nails on the floor in the morning wake her up, so I have to pick him up and carry him outside. Also, I confronted her about taking some of my food without asking, and she got really upset about that. Everyone else out here has been really super though, and I feel like they are starting to be my friends.

Today I worked 7 horses and rode 4 of them. I had 3 good rides and one not so good ride. My last ride of the day was on a 5 year old that had only been under saddle for 2 months. He has some clients coming to look at him this weekend and I am going to be showing him. He has a tendancy to curl his neck, so we work a lot on getting him to stretch out, but his steering is not so good! Young horses are so funny in that when working on a circle in the arena they will cut in on the side of the circle away from the barn, and bulge out on the circle on the side that is towards the barn. Keeping him out on the circle is not a problem, but I had difficulty getting him to stay in on the side he bulges out on, since he would just curl his neck in, get heavy in the hand, and escape through his shoulder. I had a problem with him a couple times in the canter where he actually went left instead of staying right on the circle. The answer in that scenario is to let go of the inside rein and gaurd his shoulder with the outside rein in addition to using the outside leg - which is easier said than done when careening towards a wall! We will try it again tomorrow.

Yesterday we had a barn meeting, and we decided that we would start work at 6:30 in the hopes that we could get more horses worked before the heat of the afternoon, and then end early. So today we did it. We started bringing horses in before it was even light out, worked all day, I managed to get a nice break for lunch, and then we fed early. But of course, right as we were about to start turning out, it started storming like I had not seen it do since I got here. Those of us that were in the barn were stuck in the barn for nearly an hour, while those in the arena had to all huddle towards one end to avoid getting wet. It started to clear up after that, but it was still raining so we decided to ride another round of horses (which includes hosing them off and cleaning up all their tack afterwards) before starting on turnout. We did not get done until nearly 9:00. It was a long day, but I did not feel rushed, so I surprisingly am not too tired. Though, I am glad that tomorrow is my day off.

Today was the last day of the clinic. It was amazing to see some of the horses and riders working on tempi changes, piaffe, and passage. It makes me feel like I could really get there some day, and I don't see why not with the caliber of horses and instruction that I now have at my fingertips. With all the discussion in the dressage world regarding the position of the horses's poll, and whether or not their face is behind the verticle or not, I was surprised that the clinician (from the Spanish riding school) did not mention it once. The horses were not worked "deep," but there was no mention of when the horses came behind the verticle. The focus was on completing the exercises correctly, and keeing the horses soft and straight.

I rode 3 horses today. Glory is really coming along. We are focusing on getting her to work through the back, and to make sure she does not use that big neck against us. So far she has been very willing to do what I ask of her, even though she is very out of shape. We cantered today for the first time under saddle, and it was very comfortable and not too unbalanced. I think it helped that the farrier trimmed her feet yesterday and moved the breakover point more towards the middle of her foot, rather than towards the toe where it had been previously. There is still more work to do on her feet, but they are already looking much better.

So far I love Florida! It is hot during the day, but I have been managing pretty well so far. And it cools down after it rains, and the mornings are pretty cool, so that is nice. However, the first person to walk down the barn aisles has the job of clearing out all the spider webs that grew overnight. Some of the spiders down here are pretty scary looking, but I am trying to turn around my attitude about them. However, Erin told me about a spider with 14 legs in one of the bathrooms the other day, and will not go in there now.

Tomorrow I get to sleep in, catch up on homework, do laundry, and grocery shop. If I have time I might go to yoga, or take Glory on a trail ride.

The clinic is still going on, so we are working long, slow days. I rode 3 horses today and worked 12 hours. Once the clinic is over, we will have a more normal schedule and I will get to ride more.

It has rained every day since I got here, but the rain is warm, and blows over very quickly so it is not too much of an inconvenience unless a storm comes around turn out time (like today), because then we have to wait to turn the horses out. It has been in the 90s every day, but we do not typically work directly in the sun, and the covered arena is very comfortable, so I have been adjusting to the heat quite well.

Erin has given me a few lessons and thinks I have a lot of talent. She thinks my position is good overall, but I am working on shortening my reins and getting my hands more in front of me, and to bring my right leg more forward.

I rode Glory B today for the first time today. For being a draft cross, she is actually nicely forward and bends easily. She is really cute under saddle, and is going to be a lot of fun once she gets into shape. For now though, she is about 150 pounds overweight, and can only do a little bit of work before she gets out of breath.

Boscoe is very happy here and is making friends with all the farm dogs. Got to run, need to get some sleep before starting it all over again.

Today my mom and sister left after a teary goodbye at the airport. Thanks to the Garmin finding the Airport, the Walmart in Jacksonville, and my way back home was easy! What everyone has been saying about me being down here on my own finally hit me today as I was driving back from the airport. Though, I really don't feel like I am here alone, since I know all my family and friends are back home supporting me, and I am making new friends already. In fact, Camille came with Glory today, and invited me to dinner with her tonight. We had a nice chat over sangria, and she invited me to come visit her at any time.

Friday through Tuesday at the barn is busy with a clinic with a rider from the Spanish Riding school. It is a rare treat to have access to someone that upholds the classical dressage standards that I so strongly believe in, and to see that they really do produce real results in horses without any shortcuts. Tomorrow I am going to try to get some pictures if I have time.

It really struck me today that I finally feel completely free. My future is wide open, anything could happen. It feels great to have this fresh start in so many ways, including the fact that I am able to manifest in my life the things and the people that I want to be there. I am identifying patterns in myself that have held me back in the past and making different choices as well as continuing to do things that have served me well. I had a nice talk with Jean today, and she is interested in assigning me a string of horses to train, and I will be riding about 5 horses per day. I am excited to see what happens tomorrow!

We got on the road again by 8:00 this morning, and arrived at the farm around 6:30. I really enjoyed the drive today. Tennessee is beautiful, and my mom and I have started making plans for a visit to Nashville at some time in the future. The foliage in Georgia is beautiful as well, and we bought some peaches along the roadside that I can't wait to eat for breakfast tomorrow. Once we got into Florida, we started seeing the Spanish Moss, which I think is just beautiful.

Here is a little story for the fellow "Princess Bride" fans. We had stopped at a gas station to stretch our legs and get some snacks. Just before we got out, the dog, uncharacteristicly, farted. We went inside, I got a drink and some honey roasted peanuts. As we all piled back into the car, I said to the dog, "No more farting, and I mean it," and then turned to Mom and Hillary and said "Anybody want a peanut?" I don't think they fully appreciated the hillarity of it.

Anyway, as we arrived to the barn, I stopped to say hello to everyone, and was greeted very warmly. The people here are so nice, and supportive. I thought they were kidding when they commented on the fact that they were already making plans for what I would be doing when I got here; but when I spoke with Jean, the barn owner, she made it sound like I would realistically be riding 5 -6 horses a day! I will have an opportunity for my own project horses, young horses, as well as some of the more trained horses. I will be working closely with Erin, and will be getting a lot of instruction. This is exactly what I wanted! I know it will be a lot of hard work, but I am looking forward to that as well as making connections with all the people out here.

My party was a great time! It was good to see everyone one last time. Of course, I was crying by the end of the night. The moving truck came bright and early at 8:00 am the next day. Sunday was spent cleaning, getting ready to go, and saying some final good byes.

Today, Hillary, Mom and I hit the road at 8:00 am. It seems like we spent the whole day driving through boring Illinois. Finally, we arrived at Nashville, where we hit some late night road construction before finding a place to stay for the night. Thanks to a new GPS device, a road atlast, some mixed cds, and snacks for the road, the trip is going well so far, and even the dog seems to be enjoying it.

I will have a couple of days with Mom and Hillary before they leave on Friday. Camille is coming with Glory B is on Friday, and I can't wait to meet them both!

My last few days in Wisconsin

Tomorrow is my last day working at Metavante. I have worked there for almost 10 years. I have always considered it a job, not a career, though I have been somewhat successful at it, and I have definitely learned a lot. I have lived in Wisconsin my whole life, and the Madison area for 20 some years, but I don't think I have ever been happy here. It's just not for me. I don't know what I dislike more - the cold or the snow. My friends and family I will miss, but I know that the people closest to me will always be there, and I have often found myself valuing distant relationships more, just due to the fact that you have to put more effort into them.

My stuff is all packed (I have been packing for weeks) and in a few days I will be moving to Florida to pursue my dream of being a horse trainer. I am really excited! I am ready for a fresh start, and I feel like I am finally living my life genuinely. Nothing is holding me back, and I feel free for maybe the first time in my life. I also feel like I am finally an adult, and truly in charge of my own life. I have just finally realized that life is for me to live, and that I have to find my own way and not worry about what others think. There are things about me that are genuinely me, and I am learning to embrace those things. I am choosing to seek out supportive people who believe in me, and in doing so, I am finding more confidence in myself, which is something I have always lacked. But, I deserve to feel confident and good about myself, and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me any longer.

I am a talented rider! It has taken me years to be able to admit that, because there is really no reason for it. It's not like I grew up riding horses or anything, and I really didn't start riding until I was 20, which is much later than most people who go into the industry professionally. But, I can't compare myself to those that have had the fortune of riding horses every day of their life, and I am certainly past being jealous of them. I am just happy that I have the chance to do it, and see what transpires.

I already have my own client horse! Her name is Glory B, and she is beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. All I have ever wanted was for people to pay me to ride their horses, so this is a dream come true, and a huge step in the right direction. After a year of working at Valhalla, riding their wonderful horses, and getting instruction from Erin every day, I am certain my riding will improve tremendously. My riding greatly benefitted from working with Megan at Lindenhof and I was only riding once per day - at Valhalla I will be riding all day every day! Eventually I want to ride and train at the higher levels of dressage. I am not sure if I want to train, or focus on showing and travelling, I guess it just depends on where my talents lie, and what I find myself to be interested in more. I guess if I were to put it out there, my dream would be to travel the world showing at the high levels, and have someone sponsor a horse for me. But, I would also find happiness training horses, teaching lessons, and bringing horses and riders together, which I have already found to be so satisfying.

This weekend I am going to take some time to say good bye to people that are important to me. Saturday night I am having a going away party. Lots of my friends and family will be there, so I am really looking forward to it. I am going to miss everyone, so I am sure I am going to end up crying at some point in the night. The moving truck is coming right away at 7:00 am on Sunday morning, so I have to be all packed up and living out of a suitcase by then. Sunday I am going to spend cleaning the apartment, and then will stay overnight at my Grandparents' house. My mom and youngest sister are driving down with me, and we plan on leaving Monday morning. My dog is travelling with us, so that will be interesting. He is 10 years old, and still a pain in the butt =)